Dove® is returning to its roots.

#11 - 12/14/2011 - "Your smile lights up the room." Aww, that's pretty sweet. Finally, a good compliment. Not much more to say about this one, seems it's belongs quite well. You eat some fine chocolate, enjoy the caramel, and then look at your wrapper quote. You nod approvingly, "Yes, Dove®. Right on."

#12 - 12/14/2011 - "Lose yourself in a moment." I like this one a fair bit, too. Nothing like being able to get away from all those concerns and responsibilities and just enjoy the right now, if only for a moment. This whole bag was at first starting to feel like it was a different kind of quote group, like the whole theme for this kind of Dove® chocolate was more of a sensual kind of talk. But I guess relatively normal quotes are mixed in here as well. I hope more start showing up.

Oh and they tasted delightful.

Dove® is the only one for me.

#9 - 12/13/2011 - "You know what? You look good in red." I guess it's pretty apparent by the bag and the cursive writing on the bag and the commercials where no man actually ever consumes Dove® chocolate, but I think these might me aimed at mature women. However... you think so? I am partial to red~

#10 - 12/13/2011 - "Love without rules." Repeat number two! Very curious to see how many unique quotes we'll get out of four bags of Dove®. Going on the theme of Dove® catering exclusively to women, 'love without rules' still sounds mighty risque. Or - maybe I'm on to something here - maybe Dove is calling itself 'love without rules'. Ignoring the fact that eating should definitely have rules, I think this makes the most sense. Dove® brand chocolate is a close enough substitute for true human affection, plus there's no commitment! Dove®: Eat it instead of making human connections. It's the only certainty. (I think I'm going to combine all the quotes into one superquote at the end of all this.)

Oh and they tasted like extramarital relations.

Dove® is taking over Hollywood.

#7 - 12/12/2011 - "Hey, why not?" Hahahah. Famous last words. Let's be honest here, you should know there could be plenty of reasons why not. I know you're chocolate and delicious, but this is risky business, Dove®. People could get hurt. But... no, you're right, why not? Operation Kindergarten Kidnap begins tomorrow.

#8 - 12/12/2011 - "The only certainty in life is smooth chocolate." Two things: One, I think you just gave a philosopher a heart attack. Two, this sounds like a tagline for a post-apocalyptic movie. 'In a world where no one can be trusted... The only certainty in life... is smooth chocolate. The Wonka Chronicles.'

Oh and they tasted like truth.

Dove® is taking criticism well.

#5 - 12/11/2011 - "You're invited to relax today." Welp, our first repeat! I knew this was going to happen eventually, I was just hoping it wouldn't be so soon. Lucky for me it was another invite so I can relax another day. I plan to chart out how many repeats we get, but let's save that until we have a few more.

#6 - 12/11/2011 - "Chocolate won't let you down." Dove®. Thank you. I was scared we'd get nothing but stupid fake compliments. This is, while not always true, a pretty good statement. It's just a pleasure that will almost always be a pleasure. Chocolate is rad.

Oh and they tasted sweet.

Dove® is the 1%.

#3 - 12/10/2011 - "You're invited to relax today." ...Love, Dove®. I'm glad I'm invited, it would have been really awkward if I started relaxing and you caught me without an invitation. Honestly this comes off as kind of snooty, like one of those people who gives you permission to do something as if it's an honor. You know what, Dove®? I'm going to tear up this invitation and stress out instead. That'll show you.

#4 - 12/10/2011 - "You have a great laugh!" You know, Dove®, I think there are a lot of compliments that are somewhat universal and you can say to anyone. This isn't one of those compliments. You're lucky I'm not a witch, cause I hear those ladies cackle.

Oh and they tasted yummy.

Dove® is trying to flatter me.

I'm going to write about my experience eating four bags of 'Dove® Caramel Milk Chocolate Silky Smooth Promises' (hereby known as DCMCSSPs) over some undetermined period of time, though hopefully longer than a week otherwise call a doctor.

I received these as a Christmas gift from good friends who are obviously pulling a ploy to kill me with sickeningly sweet treats, as they full well know my weakness for chocolate and caramel.

Though I received these blessings (curses?) some time around noon on the ninth of December, I was able to hold off on opening a bag until after I had eaten dinner. Henceforth I will list the date, the number of DCMCSSPs I have eaten thus far, the phrase commonly found inside Dove® wrappers, and any additional notes I have at the time.


#1 - 12/9/2011 - "Love without rules." - I guess I should start off by mentioning these particular wrappers have 'Love, Dove®' in the bottom corner of each one. I suppose that means Dove® is telling me this directly, that... love without rules. I'm honestly not sure what to make of this. Is Dove® proposing it and I become swingers?

 #2 - 12/9/2011 - "You should charge for your great advice." Should I? This sounds like bad advice. Maybe helping people is my own reward, Dove®? Maybe I want people to feel free to ask for my advice because I won't charge them. You should be fined for your terrible advice, Dove®.

Oh and they tasted good.